Yesterday I mentioned a situation I can't go into detail about just yet. Well I still can't go into detail, but the difference between last night and today is an overwhelming peace. There's nothing greater then knowing (or in my case being reassured) of just how faithful God is.
Yesterday I was pretty upset. Aside from having a 3 month old baby I'm also helping care for my mom who recently had a pretty major surgery. I've had to take on a lot of responsibilities including finding my roll as not just a new mom, but a wife. This season of life is different from any other season I've experienced. I opened up to my husband (Trevor, for those of you who may have forgotten who I married) about how I was feeling like I wasn't giving my best to him or to Risto. I told him that it was especially hard for me to know that Risto isn't getting my best. They were both getting tired, frumpy left overs.
I've always pictured myself as a wife of the 50's vacuuming in my favorite pearls... cooking gourmet meals. The wife you see in old school movies. It's the wife I've always aspired to be. What they don't show you on tv is real life situations. Most women don't have time to be June Cleaver. I realize now that I was really getting down on myself for expectations that were, quite frankly, VERY unrealistic. Having those expectations put me into this melting pot or anxiety, stress, sleepless nights and worst of all, insecurities.
Those are my struggles, here's my solution.
God.
Plain and simple He is my solution. I fell asleep praying last night, giving God my cares and concerns and asking Him to change my heart. I really wasn't prepared for just how refreshed I woke up feeling today. I feel like I can tackle the world, in a realistic sense. God showed me that I'm only one person and if my best today only involves me cleaning my kitchen, then hey... that's good enough.
I have such a better attitude and perspective on my responsibilities. They seem less like daunting chores and more like.. I don't know.. freedom. Free because I'm no longer a victim of the stronghold that is expectations. Free because I really am learning to take each task at hand as an opportunity to better serve my Creator by better serving His people, and that is a very freeing experience.
Alright, enough of that.
I'm very determined to write about a particular topic that would require me to post a certain picture that I'm still trying to gain the confidence to do. This is me keeping myself accountable. Tomorrow, the world will see what an average woman's belly looks like after gaining 60 pounds in a pregnancy. Yikes. I'll explain more tomorrow. Look forward to it, it's gonna be a good one!
Yesterday I was pretty upset. Aside from having a 3 month old baby I'm also helping care for my mom who recently had a pretty major surgery. I've had to take on a lot of responsibilities including finding my roll as not just a new mom, but a wife. This season of life is different from any other season I've experienced. I opened up to my husband (Trevor, for those of you who may have forgotten who I married) about how I was feeling like I wasn't giving my best to him or to Risto. I told him that it was especially hard for me to know that Risto isn't getting my best. They were both getting tired, frumpy left overs.
I've always pictured myself as a wife of the 50's vacuuming in my favorite pearls... cooking gourmet meals. The wife you see in old school movies. It's the wife I've always aspired to be. What they don't show you on tv is real life situations. Most women don't have time to be June Cleaver. I realize now that I was really getting down on myself for expectations that were, quite frankly, VERY unrealistic. Having those expectations put me into this melting pot or anxiety, stress, sleepless nights and worst of all, insecurities.
Those are my struggles, here's my solution.
God.
Plain and simple He is my solution. I fell asleep praying last night, giving God my cares and concerns and asking Him to change my heart. I really wasn't prepared for just how refreshed I woke up feeling today. I feel like I can tackle the world, in a realistic sense. God showed me that I'm only one person and if my best today only involves me cleaning my kitchen, then hey... that's good enough.
I have such a better attitude and perspective on my responsibilities. They seem less like daunting chores and more like.. I don't know.. freedom. Free because I'm no longer a victim of the stronghold that is expectations. Free because I really am learning to take each task at hand as an opportunity to better serve my Creator by better serving His people, and that is a very freeing experience.
Alright, enough of that.
I'm very determined to write about a particular topic that would require me to post a certain picture that I'm still trying to gain the confidence to do. This is me keeping myself accountable. Tomorrow, the world will see what an average woman's belly looks like after gaining 60 pounds in a pregnancy. Yikes. I'll explain more tomorrow. Look forward to it, it's gonna be a good one!
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