"I absolutely refuse to have a co dependent baby."
It's still hard for me to believe those words actually came out of my mouth! When I was pregnant with Risto I would say things like that all the time. Risto was destined to be a baby that slept through the night in his own bed in his own room at whatever costs. He would know how to self soothe. He would be independent. Apparently I was having a plastic doll and not a real baby.
For some parents, it works to do these things and I don't judge those parents in the slightest. It just wasn't for us, wasn't for our family. To understand how I reached my initial decision for an independent baby and how we ultimately decided on attachment parenting, you need a little back story.
The year before I had Risto I lost a pregnancy after 18 weeks. I had a Partial Molar Pregnancy that for various reasons, went undiagnosed. I had fully planned on doing a natural home water birth. I was determined to do everything parenting related naturally. Those plans were taken from me in a very traumatic experience. When I got pregnant with my darling froggy monster I was doing everything by the doctors orders. I knew I could trust him because he took such great care of me during and after my Molar. Instead of doing things naturally, I was doing everything by the book (well most everything). I kicked my birth plan in the butt and followed my Docs. lead. I ended up with a c.section and although it's not what I wanted it really and truly was the right decision for Risto's safety, and he will always come first.
I believe that my initial parenting style was defined by my loss and my fear of the natural path. I did a 180 after that experience and have since 180'd back and a major part in that switch stemmed from my c.section. I know, crazy right?? It really did!! We were 100% well on our way to have our sweet little man circumcised and honestly I thank God for our decision to opt for a c.sect. It saved my sons little guy from unnecessary cosmetic surgery. It was a decision I left up to my husband who quickly decided after witnessing my c.sect that there was NO WAY he was cutting a part our son. We asked his pedi about it who agreed that it was strictly cosmetic and unnecessary., for us.
*** I want to be very clear that we respect the decisions that others have made in this particular area. I understand a lot of people do it for religious reason, which I do respect. It is our personal religious belief that the death and resurrection of Jesus Christ frees us from having to put our son through this procedure***
I had no idea that a decision like that was going to spark this interest in me to parent more naturally. I started researching more natural parenting styles and discovered that a lot of aspects of attachment parenting were exactly how I wanted to raise Risto. I went from trying to teach him to self soothe through CIO (a decision I regret, we spent 1 day.. 2 nap times trying to do this and I cried my eyes out both times, scooped up my son, prayed about it and ditched that idea) to co-sleeping. I nurse my son to sleep for naps and bedtime. I wear him on outings. I cuddle him when he cries and whisper that it's alright to be frustrated.
I can't imagine parenting him any other way. A lot of people think I'm nuts, and I'm becoming okay with that. What works for us won't work for others. Risto is my natural little hippie baby and I wouldn't have it any other way.
No comments:
Post a Comment