I love my little man and I love his father too, but it's harder then I expected. I just knew my home would be spotless, dinners would be 5 star and Risto and I would be dressed to the 9's (me in pearls and a dress of course) when Trevor burst through the door with a "Honey, I'm home!". Oh 50's television, how you've let me down.
**NEWS FLASH**
That isn't real life! Real life is clothes covered in spit up and Mum Mum crackers. Real life is telling your spouse that tonight's a 'fend for yourself' kinda night. Real life is late nights and early mornings, days without a shower and only doing laundry to find that shirt you've been missing for over a week.
Of course I wish things were cleaner and more organized, but the reality is my 50's inspired dream didn't come in the form of a cute 1 story house with a white picket fence. It came in a 1 bedroom apartment and very little space. I also wish I didn't have PPD/PPA, but I have those too and I'm doing my best to work through them. A huge realization (and major step forward as far as PPD is concerned) is a simple reminder I've been giving myself daily.
Of course I wish things were cleaner and more organized, but the reality is my 50's inspired dream didn't come in the form of a cute 1 story house with a white picket fence. It came in a 1 bedroom apartment and very little space. I also wish I didn't have PPD/PPA, but I have those too and I'm doing my best to work through them. A huge realization (and major step forward as far as PPD is concerned) is a simple reminder I've been giving myself daily.
I asked for this.
This messy little apartment, the grubby little hands that tug on my legs all day and a husband that comes home to it all happy as a clam (can you believe it?). I wanted this. And I couldn't be happier. Sleepless nights are forcing me to start asking for help, something I've always had a hard time with. PPD is making me feel out of control and forcing me to let go. Risto has shown me how to slow down and enjoy simple things. The kitchen can wait when your child all of a sudden decides blowing raspberries is the best thing ever. Laundry? Sorry, but now he's learning to scoot and chasing him around is more fun anyhow! Showers?? Well, I do miss those, but you get the idea. I'm finding myself growing up in this process of Motherhood and I'm happy to have this crazy little life that only belongs to me.
This messy little apartment, the grubby little hands that tug on my legs all day and a husband that comes home to it all happy as a clam (can you believe it?). I wanted this. And I couldn't be happier. Sleepless nights are forcing me to start asking for help, something I've always had a hard time with. PPD is making me feel out of control and forcing me to let go. Risto has shown me how to slow down and enjoy simple things. The kitchen can wait when your child all of a sudden decides blowing raspberries is the best thing ever. Laundry? Sorry, but now he's learning to scoot and chasing him around is more fun anyhow! Showers?? Well, I do miss those, but you get the idea. I'm finding myself growing up in this process of Motherhood and I'm happy to have this crazy little life that only belongs to me.
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