I feel like I've been learning a lot about myself lately and the type of person I want to be. It seems like every time I go through a "trying" situation, I discover myself more. Having PPD has really forced me to explore my emotions and my thoughts. I've been forced to take a deeper look at who I am and who I want to be. The answer is the same as it's always been and always will be, only this time I'm taking more proactive steps to become who I'm meant to be.
I want to be more like Jesus.
In my actions, in the way I speak (or don't speak), in my heart... I want to be more like Jesus. When I look back at my life the past 3 months, I don't think I've been very Christ-like. I also haven't been completely "worldly" either, I just haven't been the reflection of my Savior like I should be, like I desire to be.
Life with a new baby is such a hard thing to navigate. There are so many aspects to raising a child, nurturing a marriage and being a typhoon of emotions. I never meant to put God on the back burner, but that's where He is and I need to change that. Risto wakes at 7-730 every morning. We eat breakfast together at 8 and it's nap time around 830. That hour long window of freedom is now dedicated to the Lord. Be it through prayer, listening to worship music, reflecting or reading my bible, I choose to spend it with my King.
Being a proper reflection of Jesus is so important. Our family can not thrive if Christ is not at the center where He belongs. If we want Risto to choose Christ for himself, we have to be the example that sets a positive influence now. For the goodness of my soul and my families, I'm taking my coffee with a little bit of Jesus
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